Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
