Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
