my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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