Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
