Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
