at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
