Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
