we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
