I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
