my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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