Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
