You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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