I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
