Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
