just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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