im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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