dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
