Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Quick, to the slutcave!
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize