she woke up with a sticky ear
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
