My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
