i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
