Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
