It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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