it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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