What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
