just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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