dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
