worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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