Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize