I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
The adults are the big ones right?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
