just come out here and I will go home with you...
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Duck Duck Cougar?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
