It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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