After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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