they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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