guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
