You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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