Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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