im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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