Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
