And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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