Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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