She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
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