woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
