i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
MIDGETS
????
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
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