Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
