That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
you traded sex for a burrito?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
