It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
