new low.... made out with someone while peeing
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
