Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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