you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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