I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
