What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
