The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I love how my cats smell like pot.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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