then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Randomize
