it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
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