Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
