He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
He better not be in your backpack
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
