Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
