He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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