I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize