Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
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