The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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