That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
It's blow job season.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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